Satire on Ostentatious Etiquette

Satire On Ostentatious Etiquette
Inspired by a travel channel presentation on the proper way to have an afternoon tea, I relate the following instructions. “Grip the finger through the cup holder rather than gently clutching it with thumb and forefinger while the pinkie finger is delicately extended. Desserts: start at the top tier with the bread and scones, working your way systematically to the bottom and eating the chocolates last.”
The scene is intriguing: a concerned social worker is explaining the above process to a group of homeless men. They are crowded securely out of the piercing fingers of a brisk cold wind just inside the entrance alcove of an old retail store. Behind them, in front of the boarded door, a warming fire burns slowly within an upright, rusty barrel that shows the damage of many fires. The men look on with keen interest. There are four of them: Billy, tall, emaciated; Randy, short, lumbering with vacuous eyes; Marvin, an older man with heavy wrinkles; and Brad, average height but over weight, apparently well-fed despite his homeless state.
They are all routinely dressed cumbersomely to avoid the sharp winds of the downtown weather. Each has some type of hat on; two, in fact, Randy and Brad, wear the knitted style that fits the top of the head and covers the ears like a glove. Billy wears a thin baseball cap he has pulled down tightly to the tops of his ears, making him look like a little boy who doesn’t know how to put on a hat. Marvin has on a felt cowboy hat with the sides pulled down over his ears, like the wool flaps of an old World War II flight cap.
They seem interested by the presenter’s comments, grunting occasionally to encourage him. Somehow all this seems to make sense even though a delicate, expensive china cup is being used to demonstrate usage, and the presenter is dressed impeccably in neat attire. When the dessert segment is broached, one man comments about his ignorance in using donuts improperly. The social worker is ecstatic. He smiles broadly, an infectious smile that pervades the stinging air and forces the listeners, in turn, to risk breaking the icy plaster of their faces with a similar smile. Teaching has been successful and learning has been effected. The world has a future and life can continue as it was, unabated, unchanged through the centuries.